


In which Karkat Vantas realizes how much his life really means to him

by l4ugh1ngS0ngs (GYPAFY)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ectobiology, Fluff, Gen, Grubs, LOTSA TAGS, Land of Pulse and Haze, Purring Trolls, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trolls, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 14:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GYPAFY/pseuds/l4ugh1ngS0ngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a cute one-shot about Karkat and his wriggler-self.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Karkat Vantas realizes how much his life really means to him

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is just a fluffy thing I wrote. It started with me wanting to find Karkat pics for a video I'm making, and after seeing a grub-karkat picture I just couldn't resist. Enjoy!

It isn't fair! Nothing is fair! Why do I have to stay in my stupid hive while the others can go out and become a part of troll society?

 

Too say the least, I'm really fucking angry right now. Talking to my 'friends' will probably only make me more angry, but right now I'm bored and I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

 

I sit down at my husktop and pull up Trollian. At first it seems that no one is online, but a small window pulls up with the header:

 

**\-- gallowsCalibrator** **[GC]** **began trolling caricinoGeneticist** **[CG]** **at 17:25 --**

 

**GC: H3Y K4RKL3S**

**GC: MY SOURC3S H4V3 TOLD M3 YOUR3 B31NG 3XTR4 GRUMPY TOD4Y**

**CG: WHAT SOURCES**

**CG: ANYWAYS YOUR SOURCES ARE WRONG, I'M ALWAYS THIS 'GRUMPY'**

**GC: H3H3H3 I THOUGHT SO**

**GC: YOU SHOULD COM3 OUT OF YOUR H1V3 4ND FL4RP W1TH US**

**GC: TH4T P3RSON4LL1TY OF YOURS W1LL F1T P3RF3CTLY W1TH TH3 OTH3R TROLLS H3R3**

**CG: I CAN'T**

**CG: OH R11111111GHT**

**CG: YOUR3 ALL SC4R3D OF OTH3RS KNOW1NG 4BOUT YOUR**

 

I know what she is going to say next, but it still doesn't make it feel any better when the teal words flash onto the small screen in front of me.

 

**CG: C4NDY R3D BLOOD**

 

I can almost hear the words in her harsh voice as I turn away. I know I have a unique blood color. I know that I was a failure before I was even a grub. I know that I am different and wrong.

 

I put my head in my hands, feeling the weight of my doomed future upon me.

 

"I wish I never started existing," I mutter to myself. A moment passes and then I feel it.

 

Pain.

 

Pain like I have never felt before, ripping through me. Sparks fly in front of my eyes as I fall to the ground, clutching at my chest. I have felt a lot of pain throughout my sweeps, but this is unexplainable. It almost feels as if I am being torn from myself, ripped in half.

 

And then it was numb. 

 

Everything is numb. I attempt to move my arms and legs as I feel myself floating away. I watch as I move away from my own body, that is currently laying on the floor, moving his mouth to form many curses as he gets back up and continues his conversation with Terezi.

 

What happened to me?

 

I look down to find that I am an almost invisible version of myself, watching the tangible version of me go about his life.

 

I observe his next conversations over pesterchum, and try to figure what happened and why. I focus on his words as he finally agrees to play a game called SGRUB. 

 

Then it speeds up, and as I watch, my head fills with information.

 

I am on the red team. I want to be the leader. I am the leader. This thing won't work. Part of my hive is broken. I am in the land of Pulse and Haze. We're supposed to work together. We have to breed a frog to make a universe? 

 

It all forces its way into my head as reality slows down and I watch the new scene in front of me. I move into a dark room. In the room, there are four devices, each with three tubes, and a terminal. Other me goes up to them, examining the buttons. I push one button, two buttons…

 

A flash of light-

 

-And I'm back. I blink my eyes a couple of times just to register my situation. I was torn out of my own body probably 10 minutes ago, then proceeded to watch who-knows-how-much time of my life pass by, and now I'm in a lab surrounded by wrigglers?

 

"What the fuck?" I say, still feeling winded by the intake of so much information. I scan the space around me to find that there are eleven grubs, two attempting to climb up my sides, and one currently licking at my arm. Further examination proves that there is one grub of every color in the hemospectrum. I let myself give a slight smile at the thought. In this moment, all of these grubs are completely equal. None of them can feel judged because they are all here together, and they have yet to know the terrors of troll society.

 

I'm looking down at an indigo wriggler before something catches my eye. Some _one_.

 

A small, bright red wriggler is hiding behind one of the machines. I stand up, baffled at the thought that there is someone else like me. I walk over to it, kneeling down and lowering myself so I can get a better look at it. 

 

Can it really be true? Is there really going to be another troll that is like me? Will someone finally be able to understand?

 

I reach my hand out, wanting to feel the small grub, to make sure that this wasn't a very strange dream. It cowers away, but after a moment, it comes closer, and starts to move its tiny legs onto my hand. 

 

I stand up, and elevate the grub with me, putting a reassuring hand on it when I feel it get tense with the unexpected movement. I hold it near my chest, reveling in the bright color engulfing the grub's body. It starts to crawl up my chest, and I tilt my head down to notice the small nubby horns growing in its clump of hair.

 

It's when I look into it's pure black irises that I realize. This grub is me. 

 

I put wriggler-me down, even more baffled than before. I was talking with Terezi…and now I'm meeting the past version of myself? I try to make a connection between the two, wondering why _here_ and why _now_? She had been trolling me, and then I-

 

Oh.

 

I didn't want to exist.

 

I take a step back from the wrigglers and equip my sickles. Their bright colors reflect the small amount of light in the room, causing the area around the bright-red wriggler to glow just a little brighter than the dim light around the others.

 

I kneel down, reaching my hand out to the wriggler, who once again backs away. This time, instead of waiting for it to come to me, I grab the grub, raising it up so we are face to face.

 

It lets out a frightened noise, crawling as far away as it can, before it reconsiders its decision and runs up to bite me on my nose.

 

"Fuck!" I scream, dropping the grub and bringing my hand to my face. Once the swelling goes down, I re-equip my sickles.

 

"I'm going to get you, you little fucker," I mumble, weapons on either side of me. The other wrigglers in the room scuttle to the sidelines, and soon the bright-red wriggler is the only one in my line of sight. 

 

I raise my sickle and…!

 

And…

 

and…

 

…I know I won't be able to do it. My sickle returns to my side. Even with the rough life that I've had, I can't take the experience away from myself. I would rather be alive now and culled later than to have never felt the alternia sun on my gray skin. Even though they're annoying little fucks, I would miss never having any of my friends, and what would happened to Crabdad?

 

As I am remembering why I have continued living my life for the past thirteen years, wriggler-me has started climbing up my leg. I do not notice this until after I have pushed another two buttons, and twelve more grubs have appeared.

 

I allow myself a small smile as I sit down and allow the bright red one to crawl into my lap. It gives contented sound, and the original grubs peak their tiny heads out from behind the machinery. Wriggler-me continues to make cute little noises until all of the grubs have come out and have settled on-or-around me. 

 

A purple grub rests atop my head as a violet one tries to claw at me with its tiny legs. Two green wrigglers are perched on my knees looking up at me. A teal shaded one is energetically running around, and i laugh as it breaks through fuchsia and yellow grubs that seem to be squeaking to each other. This is nice. My smile grows wider.

 

I listen to all of the little sounds around me, and I feel a small vibration in my lap as a quiet purr emits from wriggler-me.

 

Then it's quiet.

 

My eyes open, slightly shocked at the sudden loss of contact. All of the wrigglers have disappeared. I consider worrying if _I_ am also about to disappear, but figure that it is probably just another part of the game. 

 

I look around the empty room, the only sound being the humming of a nearby machine. I stand up, dust myself off, and think: _what do I do now?_

 

I take a moment to compose a list in my head, but forget it just as quickly as I pulled it together.

 

I have my whole life to decide, right? 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I loooooooove comments!!!!!!!! Comment if you liked or if you have any suggestions for other stories/to improve my writing. Hope you liked it! -LS
> 
> Edit: I don't know how to do pesterlogs! If you know, please tell me. I'd like to give my stories more of the Homestuck touch and you can't have Homestuck without pesterlogs! :::;)


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